Comedy

On being offended

ArgusEyes — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 07:22:09 GMT

Ah, takes me back to my youth.

ArgusEyes — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 06:40:36 GMT

The and and the grasshopper. NZ version

ArgusEyes — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 08:15:08 GMT

OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE OLD STORY: Be responsible for yourself !

MODERN VERSION:The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his houseand laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come the winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving. Media shows up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The country is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Sue Bradford appears on Campbell Live with the grasshopper and everybody cries .. The Green Party stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, We shall overcome. Green Party Leader Metiriea Turei condemns the ant and blames John Key, Rob Muldoon, Roger Douglas, Capitalism and Global warming for the grasshopper's plight. John Minto exclaims in an interview with TV News that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share. Finally to gain votes to win an election, the Government drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to consider how his hard work and preparation has affected the Grasshoppers Mana and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated under the Government Land Repo Act and given to the grasshopper.The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government
confiscated house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't
maintain it. The ant has disappeared to Australia , never to be seen again.The grasshopper is found dead in a Drugs related incident, and the house,
now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of Homeboy spiders who terrorize the once prosperous and peaceful, neighbourhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2011

Do you want one good takedown of the neo Bolsheviks (occupiers)?

ArgusEyes — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 04:26:08 GMT

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Occupy Wall Street Divided

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show Full Episodes

Political Humor & Satire Blog

The Daily Show on Facebook

There, now can we start ignoring these people?

This species has amused itself to death

ArgusEyes — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 10:57:16 GMT

As I ponder the state of the world, two things has happened.

More and more, our species appears to me to be a ridiculous bunch of monkeys. A mold growing on a beautiful blue ball in space. Yes, we do great things but we spend more time flinging our feces at each other.
As a consequence of #1 I have really stopped giving a shit. Time spend away from TV and the news is time spend becoming happier. I think that I would like nothing more at this present time, than to save to buy a yacht and bob around on the sea laughing at the human disease.
The decline in videos and material I produce is, I think, related to this.

Maybe I’m getting more cynical.. Who’d knew eh?

As an interlude. Let us pay a testament to the artistic ability of our species some work by a true wordsmith, the ever talented Roger Waters, who seems to share some similar thoughts with me on matter.

Doctor Doctor what is wrong with me
This supermarket life is getting long
What is the heart life of a colour TV
What is the shelf life of a teenage queen
Ooh western woman
Ooh western girl
News hound sniffs the air
When Jessica Hahn goes down
He latches on to that symbol
Of detachment
Attracted by the peeling away of feeling
The celebrity of the abused shell the belle
Ooh western woman
Ooh western girl
And the children of Melrose
Strut their stuff
Is absolute zero cold enough
And out in the valley warm and clean
The little ones sit by their TV screens
No thoughts to think
No tears to cry
All sucked dry
Down to the very last breath
Bartender what is wrong with me
Why am I so out of breath
The captain said excuse me ma'am
This species has amused itself to death
Amused itself to death
Amused itself to death
We watched the tragedy unfold
We did as we were told
We bought and sold
It was the greatest show on earth
But then it was over
We ohhed and aahed
We drove our racing cars
We ate our last few jars of caviar
And somewhere out there in the stars
A keen-eyed look-out
Spied a flickering light
Our last hurrah
And when they found our shadows
Grouped around the TV sets
They ran down every lead
They repeated every test
They checked out all the data on their lists
And then the alien anthropologists
Admitted they were still perplexed
But on eliminating every other reason
For our sad demise
They logged the only explanation left
This species has amused itself to death
No tears to cry no feelings left
This species has amused itself to death

..That’s about how it works

ArgusEyes — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 03:58:58 GMT

Be careful what you ask for

ArgusEyes — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 01:09:46 GMT

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2413

Remind me to not piss Fred Reed off..

ArgusEyes — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 08:26:50 GMT

..He would savage me too much.

Like a wolverine digging at a rabbit's hole, this column seeks truth, wherever it lies. (Of course, if truth lies, how can you trust it? These are deep waters.) To this end, I have been reading feminists about what slugs men are, and bandits, and slaves of vanity, and cause loose fillings and sunspots and roach infestations. In the past I dismissed these tiresome viragos as mere creatures of bile and ill-breeding. This time, I thought, maybe I should listen to them. After all, ugly short-haired unmarried women are people too. Pretty close anyway.

AsI pondered, I was overcome by the consciousness of sin. Yes, I thought, it is true. We men are the slaves of vanity. I wanted to deny it, but I could not. The facts cannot be evaded: We, sorry male malfeasors all, are hopelessly vain.

Confess it, fellows: Men spend millions on boob jobs, on moisteurining lipstick that gives us the freshness of the roses of morn, on perky push-up bras that divide and lift at the same time. Yes, we do. Television groans under ads for new, new shampos that make our thinning hair swirl like corn silk in gentle zephyrs. Whole generations of Africans have died in the diamond mines of Kimberly so that we men could have gauds and baubles and dingly-dangles to put in our ears. Oh, the shame of it.

…

I have often read that women cooperate, quietly working together to get the job done, while men are aggressive and need to butt heads, trying to be the alpha male. This must be true, I reflected. Sociologists say so. There can be no greater fountain of truth than pigeon-chested academic worms in psuedo-universities. That's what I think, anyway.

Sure enough, the evidence is there. If you peer into the sordid sprawl of history, you find that you can hardly swing a pool cue without hitting a civilization founded by cooperating women. Sumeria, Rome, the Tang Dynasty, the Raj—all built by women working quietly and maturely together, while men fussed and fumed and did their nails. The NFL, the space program, Microsoft and Google, all products of cooperating women.

http://www.fredoneverything.net/Confessions.shtml

That has to sting.

Left wing science denial

ArgusEyes — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 21:30:04 GMT

Eve Ensler is fucking insane

ArgusEyes — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 10:01:40 GMT

I don’t expect you to make it through this entire video. Luckily, you only need two minutes (that is how long I was able to hold out) to realise that Eve Ensler is a fucking loon. I’m not going to transcribe it but, like I said, you only need two minutes.

There are a couple of points to be made here. The first, and most important is that feminism and other petered-out activist/victimist movements, attract very damaged people. These are not healthy, well-adjusted people and they have clearly turned their angst outwards to a large degree. Their theories affect other damaged people, but they also rub off on impressionable women and men who think that because they are a college professor or a talker, that they have wisdom on the world.

Second point is; a bit effect of feminism is to turn women into weak, pathetic losers. Think back to all the shrieking and over-the-top language about feelings and un-comfortableness and privilege at the Rebecca Watson elevator affair. Some guy asks her out in an elevator and the community throws itself into a fit. How about you say “no” and leave it at that? This navel-gazing waffling loon is speaking at an event called TEDWomen. If I were invited to TEDMen then I’d feel embarrassed at myself and I would decline to appear. Aren’t they embarrassed?! Really, I don’t get it. TED is for men and women who have something interesting to say. TEDWomen is like a special-ed class for women who want to rant incoherently about things that no one else cares about. If you’re on the short bus then you’ve fucked up in life.

If you read the comments on the video page, most are against. Sense might yet prevail.

If they’re anything like Rebecca Watson, then do we actually want more women in the atheist/skeptic movement?

ArgusEyes — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 06:19:30 GMT

Since I last commented, I’ve heard many podcasts and read many articles on the wretched Rebecca Watson affair. Not because I sought them, but because they are brought up at the places I regularly visit. I have commented before, but I feel a sort of last word is required since I’ve not heard many people go over what really pisses me off about this whole thing.

It’s about this whole idea of privilege. The idea being peddled is that we men have such a sense of privilege and chutzpah that we brazenly go where we please propositioning women left and right?

Guys. Do you feel ‘privileged’ to be the pursuers, do you feel ‘empowered’ when approaching a woman at a club or bar? Are these women weak and diminutive? Or are they fully aware of the power behind their own positions? In my experience, it’s normally the latter.

In fact, being able to sit on your arse and be propositioned by guys and be offered drinks. That sounds like a privileged position to me! If I’d exchange my ‘privilege’ for their ‘oppression’ on any day of the week then guess what? It isn’t privilege!

Men and women are different. We ask the women out, because we want to get laid. Sorry. Is this debatable? (And no, I’m not saying that women never ask men out for fucks sake). If the world changed tomorrow, and guys stopped asking women out, then women would probably be the first ones to complain.

Take the ardent atheist podcast episode that dealt with this. The gay host has a female co-host and he fills the panel with three women! So one gay guy and four women discuss this issue. Are you serious! I’ll give you one chance to try and guess which perspective is missing here. This brings a side issue to the fore, the intrusion of politically correct victim groups into a movement which is ostensibly about facts and science. Take this comment:

(2) There are also women out there who do not believe this is an issue because they haven’t personally experienced it, or have experienced things they feel are far worse. Please do not diminish the experiences and emotions of your sisters in skepticism. Remain open to the possibility that you, too, might be unconsciously influenced by cultural baggage.

http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/cocktail-party-physics/2011/07/20/is-it-cold-in-here/

Feelings and emotions have no place in scepticism. Skepticism is about facts, not your petty personality problems. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. Feminism makes women weak and pathetic. Look at how the goalposts have moved. From sensible arguments about legitimate differences to these Orwellian phrases about “cultural baggage”. It’s all an excuse to continue feeling aggrieved and a victim in societies which, generally speaking, excellent in their treatment of females.

Feminism & PC is not going away, it's getting shriller and it’s growing like mould in a movement that is not ostensibly about it. A lot of people didn’t come here for this.

JREF president DJ Grothe did just that when, a few days before TAM9, he openly addressed the rift caused by “Elevatorgate” and made it clear that unwanted sexual advances or other harassing behavior were unacceptable, and grounds for being ejected from the conference. Grothe also deserves credit for making diversity a priority in his selection of speakers and topic. That’s the mark of a true leader, and the JREF is lucky to have him. Kudos, also, to Big Name skeptics like Phil Plait, PZ Myers, Josh Rosenau, Greg Laden and others who spoke up eloquently in support of Watson.

http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/cocktail-party-physics/2011/07/20/is-it-cold-in-here/

How do you know it’s unwanted until you try? Then you’re already fucked (as we know from elevator dude). Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. You are a Neanderthal for being a normal, healthy male. Submit to the thought collective and let them mould you like putty.

A lot of people don’t particularly like the victim mongers and their cringing, hand-wringing supporters (most of the leaders in the movement support the Watson view by the way, the kerfuffle comes from those who are in the movement but are not in positions of power – the rot will continue). A lot of people think that Watson’s comments were going too far in criticizing someone coming on to her, they don’t live in bubbles of PC, they’re out there in real life where they have to ask chicks out.

My recommendation. Become a monk. Live on a mountaintop, and laugh at the ridiculous monkeys scurrying around below you with their stupid, petty little gripes and lives.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

ArgusEyes — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 16:55:34 GMT

Image Of Virgin Mary Appears In Bird Dropping On Area Family’s Truck

An image of the Virgin Mary that appeared in a bird dropping on the side mirror of a Central Texas family’s truck is causing a neighborhood stir.

http://www.kwtx.com/home/headlines/50946582.html

I love the statement “Image Of Virgin Mary Appears In Bird Dropping”. Yes folks, it’s a fact. This is the virgin Mary, not some indiscriminate smear in some avian fecal matter. That’s A-grade reporting right there. I’m going to give some important life lessons for the reporter, Shannon Dillon.

This is an image of the virgin Mary.

This is birdshit.

Clear?

From the article:

"We just all feel protected. It's a blessing to our family and to everybody that comes to see it," says Cristal Pachuca.

So because it feels good to believe it, then that means it’s true. Can someone get me out of this human race please? I think I will make a good squirrel.

Someone put a good comment at the end

Pareidolia: a psychological phenomenon involving a vague and random stimulus (often an image or sound) being perceived as significant

If you’re wearing a whore’s uniform…

ArgusEyes — Mon, 30 May 2011 18:18:06 GMT

So these ridiculous slut walks are heading in my general geographic direction.

A "Slut Walk" protest is planned in Wellington next month as protests grow following a police officer's remarks about how woman should dress to avoid sexual assaults.

In Boston approximately 2000 protesters marched yesterday some holding signs saying We love sluts! and Jesus loves sluts, Associated Press reported.

The protest movement, sparked by a Toronto police officer's remark that women could avoid being raped by not dressing like "sluts," came to Boston after advocates saw similar events - largely organised through Facebook and Twitter - pop up in Canada, England and other parts of the US.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/dominion-post/news/4976243/Slut-Walk-protest-planned-for-Wellington

I don’t have much to say on this topic. So I’ll let Mr. Chappelle say it best.

Also, whilst Googling for images to use in this post, I came upon a piece called “These 'slut walk' women are simply fighting for their right to be dirty” by Germaine Greer (the subtitle is “True liberation is women wearing what they like and abandoning the Hoover.” – what fucking decade is this stupid woman living in?). I love how ridiculous feminism has become. Look at the words used here, “fight”, “right”. Question; what right are these women being deprived of? Is there some sharia-style law being proposed against slutty clothes. No. A police officer made a comment. Oh noes! Better take to the streets then! You gotta know how to pick your fights in life I guess…

Oh BTW, if you’re a man, and you’re at one of these slut walks in the march, you’re a pussy.

New Physics

ArgusEyes — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 20:06:26 GMT

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium".

Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium - an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as
many peons but twice as many morons.

Beer

ArgusEyes — Thu, 03 Mar 2011 13:21:19 GMT

Yesterday, scientists for the FDA suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women.

To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.

No further testing is planned.

Oh hush. It’s just a joke.

In which we betray our gender

ArgusEyes — Sat, 06 Nov 2010 23:19:46 GMT

A comic for those who want some really piercing gender analysis.

The first part: http://www.gabbysplayhouse.com/?p=1444

The follow-up: http://www.gabbysplayhouse.com/?p=1457

A summary of modern gender-psychoanalysis

ArgusEyes — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 11:34:46 GMT

True Equality besieged by Thai mob. I yawn.

ArgusEyes — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 22:04:13 GMT

Oh my. About a week ago I suddenly received a huge influx of emails for a couple of days, which slowed down to a trickle of about three or four a day since then. A bunch of Thais have found my video over again and are writing in to give me a piece of their rather tiny little minds. Let’s dive in and take a random pick shall we?! No kidding, I will now select, um, ten emails at random from the batch I received.

FUCK YOU, SON OF A BITCHMOTHER FUCKER, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MY COUNTRY. DON'T SAY A WORD CONCERN TO MY HOMELAND AGAIN, JUST GO TO HELL.

pueng4426@gmail.com

Say it in caps!

go to hell, fuck your mother,stupid man, don't mention to our country and my king, we don't like about your you tube video if we complaint your country about rape, streetwalker, pollution, murder, to trade abuses your prime minister, please ask yourself that you are the one in your country or you are fucking ass with animal,

kongo_bkk@hotmail.com

This is actually quite cogent by the standards set by the rest.

you guys are either gay or have no life. get over it, be a man! haha

Yes. Those are the only two viable options.

YOU ARE NOT THAI .. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IS REALLY HAPPENING IN THAILAND !!!! STOP YOUR MOUTH AND GO TO THE HELL !!!

im.finethanks@yahoo.com

Ass hole, Man. You are a stupid through the world. You don't know everything of our king and Thailand.
If you don't have everything to do, will push you finger in plug.

thaksinnolive@gmail.com

Nerd !

And proud of it!

don't say anything about ours king , because u really doesn't understand the culture in Thailand and The Love of My King. BE PANSY....SOMEWHERE ELSE

ppprem23@gmail.com

If you still want to live in this world.Should stop saying what is and is not true.I speak to you with human Language.

I don’t know what language you’re speaking mate.

your mouth smell like rotten dog.go to hell dead buried in a hole.

Best. Insult. Ever.

Our country and Our law are not your business. Many things in your country are waiting for you to do, especially taking care your parents.
We love our King and even there is no this kind of law, it will not change our love to our beloved King.

Yes, it really is the same thing over and over again. We love our king shouted aloud as a mantra.

It really is scary to see such a mass force of wilfully stupid hyper emotional thugs. Whose iron-clad cognitive dissonance will not let one tiny ray of philosophy or reason enter their mind. This is the ugly side of the human animal, the side that leads to evil. I’ve said it before. When discussion of the king is completely off the table and backed up with punishment by the coercive force of government, then what happens when the next king is not such a good man? How will you feel about the apparatus of complete and utter tyranny being set up for such a man to impose his will upon you all? It’s the lesson of history. Concentrated power within an oligarchy leads to terror. Learn.

The classic rejoinder

ArgusEyes — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 00:31:53 GMT

Mr. grammar from my last post. Has responded and it’s a winner! Hint, when your response can be crafted by an automated program then you might as well not make it. if(state.ICannotUndestandBecauseYourMessageMakesNoSense) { Response.Write(“Aha you cannot counter my brilliance and therefore criticise my spelling”; }

Oh boy do I love the “you need to get laid” card. I never hear that one.. Every five seconds.

im sorry for my awfull english, its not my mother language, so... but i think u wouldnt understand german, would u? no, so i have to use this one,
its funny how u think that because of the fact that u speak better english makes u in some way smarter or let u think that u have not to answer to that message. comon man dont exaggerate
i mean is that all u have? Apperantly yes. U really need to get laid...no seriously

by the way, nice gay vids

Nice gay vids? Do you mean that I have some homosexual videos? Where? At some point I may address that subject, thanks.

By the way. Even Germans use punctuation, capitalisation and non-l33t (A.K.A. “retard”) shortcuts.

Just for the laughs my friends. Nothing more.

Do you understand this?

ArgusEyes — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 00:35:19 GMT

This one’s a classic. A message sent to be by another YouTube user.

hi Mark, ich have to admit that i was not able to reach u with a better way instaed making stupid comments on ur youtube page. But beside that i did not thought that u would answer or rfelect ur own thinking in a critical way. u might think i have not watch ur vids, or tried to udnerstand what problems u might see in some societies, but thats not true. I watch it, i listen to u and i understand more than ever. Im very very sure that u blustered u so much with that topic of men vs. woman that ur not able to make a step back regard what u r actually saying.
this hole men vs woman neurotic thing is simulation in ur brain that make u believe u discovered a huge issue that must be solved. im sorry i dont see any substance at all in what ur talkin.
My favorite example is how u mentioned the plane crash in the hudson river, where u questioned the basic ritual of first women , then men. Ask urself, what does this have to do with equality?
man common dont be so cocky and noncritical to urself.
For me an intelligent human being is someone that dont need to be questioned by others, he already question hisself right from the beginning

best regards

How about I play the “how many mistakes are in each sentence” game? Hang on.. Is this message even separated into sentences?

Don’t bother to try and decipher it or respond. I’m merely going to answer back saying that unless he wants to treat me with the respect to write a proper legible message in English, then I won’t bother trying to answer him.

This one is catchy too

ArgusEyes — Sat, 01 May 2010 15:14:47 GMT

Oh and a warning. Language.

This song will bore its way into your head at night.

ArgusEyes — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 03:23:17 GMT

Sweet dreams.

This is what Tom Sowell means by “stage 1 thinking”

ArgusEyes — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 21:19:20 GMT

(click to go to the smbc website)

Cold Calculation

ArgusEyes — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 05:47:06 GMT

Come to New Zealand. Where the wildlife will rape you.

ArgusEyes — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 21:31:46 GMT

I’ve not med one of these yet, thank fuck. Just some inquisitive Kea’s.

I respect Robin Williams about a hundred times more now.

ArgusEyes — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 23:29:09 GMT

A man who plays good games can’t be all bad. I actually always liked Robin Williams.

Mathematics

ArgusEyes — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 21:50:51 GMT

1. Teaching maths in 1970
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 80% of the price.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80.
How much was his profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Maths In 2005
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habit of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.

6. Teaching Maths In 2009
A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the felling licence. He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach of Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut something. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target. When he is released he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in jail the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a leaving BBQ of squirrel and pheasant and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting. The forester on release is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor.
Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20 profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life?

7. Teaching Maths In 2010
A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to buy a new lorry, because his bank has spent all his and their money on a derivative of securitised debt related to sub- prime mortgages in Alabama and lost the lot, with only some government money left to pay a few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest losses.
The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry however, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it.

Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the governments expense. Following their holiday back home they return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £21,500 registration fees as a gang master.
The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers, as bonus's are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the difference on expenses and allowances.
You do the maths.

8. Teaching Maths 2017
أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار. صاحب تكلفة الانت=D 8ج من
الثمن. ما هو الربح له؟

O.K. Guys.. This is what it takes for the oppression against women to stop

ArgusEyes — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 19:36:33 GMT

Some people can believe crap that can make your head spin. Some chick (I honestly thought she was a boy until she spoke) is moaning the usual moan about how I said all feminists were a certain way and I cannot possibly criticise feminism ever because they’re all different. Yeah, the usual stuff.

It was the little exchange we had that was so delicious, I may very well take it down as an all time classic feminist line.

I wrote:

Yes, a person who thinks she is oppressed will likely become a feminist, and yes, viewing oneself as being oppressed will make one angry.

However, history is replete with people who deluded themselves into believing fantasies that weren't true, and didn't ponder their own fallibility or potential to be wrong. Feminists fall into this camp. Acting on faith with emotion is the cause of so much evil, it is in this way that the feminists perpetrate sexism and oppression upon other's heads whilst at the same time claiming that they are against such things.

If you can provide that final elusive proof of oppression against women, outside of petty grievances about wolf whistles or myths like the wage gap stemming from systemic sexism, then we can start to find some common ground. But until you do so then to decry yourself as being oppressed as a woman in the year 2009 is worthy only of contempt.

She replied:

Again it seems that you're solely speaking from your personal experience with feminists. you cannot say that all feminists do all these things you stated because you dont' know every feminist. this may be some trend you are writing about or w/e but to make broad blanket statements is pretty pointless.

i honestly dont feel like going through the trouble of proving the oppression against women but until the day where a woman can go out side and walk wherever she wants, wearing whatever she wants, no matter what time of day and feel completely safe, then oppression against women doesnt exist, or when parents start feeling safe about leaving their children with a male babysitter.
part of being a human being is constantly questioning your opinion and changing your opinion. i think its funny that you're falling back on to the "feminists have some deluded sense that women are oppressed" argument. ive heard it all

Hard to know what to say to that. I just left it at:

I wish you the best in your wait for utopia.

Holy Crap! Study that didn’t need to be done.

ArgusEyes — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 15:57:17 GMT

As a great man, Dennis Prager, once said. A study either confirms common sense or it is wrong.

Twitter tweets are 40% 'babble'

A short-term study of Twitter has found that 40% of the messages sent via it are "pointless babble."

Carried out by US market research firm Pear Analytics, the study aimed to produce a snapshot of what people do with the service.

Almost as prevalent as the babble were "conversational" tweets that used it as a surrogate instant messaging system.

The study found that only 8.7% of messages could be said to have "value" as they passed along news of interest.

Get out.

Victim a go-go

ArgusEyes — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 19:13:13 GMT

Moore blames women for 'banal' TV

ArgusEyes — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 04:36:59 GMT

This one is a blast from the past. I saved this link a long time ago and just came upon it whilst cleaning out my archives.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6634255.stm

British TV standards are deteriorating because the BBC is "run by women", astronomer Sir Patrick Moore has said.

The Sky at Night host also described female newsreaders as "jokey" and called for separate channels to cater for the needs of the different sexes.

"I think it may eventually happen," the 84-year-old told the Radio Times.

A BBC spokesman described Sir Patrick as being one of TV's best-loved figures and said his "forthright" views were "what we all love about him".

The presenter said: "The trouble is the BBC now is run by women and it shows soap operas, cooking, quizzes, kitchen-sink plays. You wouldn't have had that in the golden days.

"I used to watch Doctor Who and Star Trek, but they went PC - making women commanders, that kind of thing. I stopped watching
Sir Patrick Moore

"I would like to see two independent wavelengths - one controlled by women, and one for us, controlled by men."

He claimed that interesting programmes were screened too late at night, and said he would "rather be dead in a ditch" than appear on Celebrity Big Brother. And asked about his favourite series, Sir Patrick said he no longer enjoyed certain programmes because of their modern storylines.

"I used to watch Doctor Who and Star Trek, but they went PC - making women commanders, that kind of thing. I stopped watching."

Sir Patrick appears in the Guinness Book of Records as the longest-serving TV presenter, having appeared on his show about astronomy since 1957.

Sir Patrick Moore is an eccentric British astronomer. I mean, just look at the picture. Any man who wears a monocle is A-OK on my books, all he needs to complete the picture is a pipe and we’d be set.

This post is mostly something funny from a fellow curmudgeon. I am not going to hang my cap on Moores views as I stopped watching TV years ago so I don’t know what it is like now – probably crap.

Laura Bennett says more stultifyingly stupid things

ArgusEyes — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 00:13:36 GMT

Laura Bennett, who wrote a ridiculous piece entitled “When Did My 13-Year-Old Son Become a 'Player?'” excretes another hilarious piece that demonstrates that she seems to have problems with the concept that boys grow up and, you know, get more mature and smarter.

I’m just having trouble understanding how the little boy who hid between my legs underneath my skirt became interested in someone else’s skirt.

Source: Laura Bennett http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-03-01/when-did-my-13-year-old-son-become-a-player/

Sure you’re having problems with it Laura, you don’t seem to be too bright. People interested in more mental suicide should consult her previous work http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-03-01/when-did-my-13-year-old-son-become-a-player/

Sure you’re having problems with it Laura, you don’t seem to be too bright. People interested in more mental suicide should consult her previous work “Exactly How Are Men Superior?”

I love my sons—they’re funny, sweet, and full of surprises. But I don’t understand how a species incapable of feeding themselves—much less hitting the toilet—ever came to rule the planet.

Source: Laura Bennett http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-01-29/exactly-how-are-men-superior/

Yep. There’s not really any intellectual condemnation here. Let’s just laugh at the stupidity on display.

Laura, you appear to be an idiot. A better article could be written by your five year old son, please keep to the cognitive field of fashion and stop writing.

P.S. The latter article is due to be decimated in an upcoming podcast piece and video.

Bratz Dolls May Give Girls Unrealistic Expectations Of Head Size

ArgusEyes — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 03:02:17 GMT

Can Pixar make a bad film?

ArgusEyes — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 18:33:33 GMT

I've just finished watching Wall-E and Ratatouille from Pixar. Both films are absolutely fantastic in a way that I've come to expect from that company. I have to say that Pixar haven't made a bad film yet. The only film of theirs I haven't seen yet is cars, but I’ve heard that is good as well.

I can think of no other example of this, the nearest I can think of is the Coen Brothers who seemed like they couldn't fail for a while. But then they released a bunch of stinkers and that was the end of that.

The Pixar films are a real treat for me. They are the best animated, funniest, most character-full animated films out there and may Pixar never fall.

Brilliant!

ArgusEyes — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 10:12:54 GMT