The Princess and the Frog. Racist too, apparently

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

“THE Princess and the Frog” does not open nationwide until December, but the buzz is already breathless: For the first time in Walt Disney animation history, the fairest of them all is black.

Who cares. Judge me not by the colour of my skin yada yada yada.. I only say that, because I’m a racist though. The modern disease is to judge everything through the lens of race. yeah baby! That’s not racist thought. Paying constant attention to, and deference to race isn't in any way race-ism, do you disagree? Racist. Moving on.

After viewing some photographs of merchandise tied to the movie, which is still unfinished, Black Voices, a Web site on AOL dedicated to African-American culture, faulted the prince’s relatively light skin colour. Prince Naveen hails from the fictional land of Maldonia and is voiced by a Brazilian actor; Disney says that he is not white.

“Disney obviously doesn’t think a black man is worthy of the title of prince,” Angela Bronner Helm wrote March 19 on the site. “His hair and features are decidedly non-black. This has left many in the community shaking their head in befuddlement and even rage.”

Sweet Jebus. This world is filled with insufferable jackasses and busybodies with nothing better to waste their time on (ahem). I swear. The issue is not this victim movement or that victim movement. It’s the mentality of the human victim complex and groupthink. These people are invested in a victim worldview. They are happy in being unhappy.

Of course, armchair critics have also been complaining about the princess. Disney originally called her Maddy (short for Madeleine). Too much like Mammy and thus racist. A rumour surfaced on the Internet that an early script called for her to be a chambermaid to a white woman, a historically correct profession. Too much like slavery.

And wait: We finally get a black princess and she spends the majority of her time on screen as a frog?

Everyone is racist, my chair is racist (actually it’s black so no way), her name is racist, the theme is racist, this is racist, that is racist, her skin isn’t “black” enough, his skin isn’t “black” enough, his hair isn’t “black” enough.

“Because of Disney’s history of stereotyping,” said Michael D. Baran, a cognitive psychologist and anthropologist who teaches at Harvard and specializes in how children learn about race, “people are really excited to see how Disney will handle her language, her culture, her physical attributes.”

Hmmm, let me peer into my crystal ball. Yep! It’ll be deemed to be racist, by a lot of really creative twists of logic that defy the imagination. And I confidently expect Disney to cringe and apologise like a puppy that has just wet the rug. Just like Hallmark did with their “racist” card. Maybe Disney they will pull a Capcom and alter the film somewhat.

Either way, I’ll be sitting back to watch the spiralling of society into a black hole (not black whore) of stupidity. Anyway, I’m off to brush my racist teeth and lie down in my racist bed to ponder, in amazement, the bone-crushing foolishness of the human race.