Not a day goes by without me getting a message in my inbox or a comment on one of my videos saying something along the lines of:
I am a feminist because I believe in equality and what’s wrong with that!?
Let me say something now that, for some reason, isn’t said enough. Apart from a few nut-jobs here and there, we all believe in equality. OK? It doesn’t need to be said.
People who say that feminism is about equality have some major misconceptions about what feminism actually is. Feminism is not a state of being. It’s not something you just are like you might be an jew or a homosexual.
It is an ideological movement. Ideological movements are movements that are concerned with ideas. Feminism is comprised of ideas and theories and hypotheses. These ideas can be evaluated on their individual veracity and then accepted or dismissed. And over time common threads are observed in the ideas of the feminists that testifies to the character of the movement. This is what I consider my primary role to be... To evaluate the ideas and trends of feminism. As I’ve made quite clear before, I don’t think feminists are bad, I think that in general they have bad ideas because they base them on false premises.
Why don’t I call myself a feminist? As I have stated before. Feminism is not a state of being. So you can believe in equality and not call yourself a feminist. And that’s what I and a lot of other men’s rights activists believe. In fact, a lot of us feel that feminists do not believe in the kind equality that we, and most rational people, believe in.
For those who are actually able to think, you will realise that the word equality doesn’t have a meaning that is a clear as people intent it to be when they bleat it out. To me, men’s rights activism versus feminism is about two conflicting models of what the word equality means.
To most feminists equality means equality of outcome. That if you add up the numbers at the end of the day, if the column under men and the column under women don’t match exactly then this is proof positive that women are being oppressed.
To most Men’s rights activists, equality means equality of opportunity. In that you should face no discrimination based upon your sex, race or sexual preference in a civilised society. And that if the system is fair, then the outcome vis a vie women vs. men, white vs. black. Etc. Doesn’t matter at the end of it because your own choices led to that particular outcome.
Which one of these views is correct? Obviously I am going to say the second one.
Life is rarely a dichotomous choice between two different ideas. But this is one of those times. You cannot have a completely fair system and then have the government stick its nose in afterward in an attempt to fiddle the numbers to make it appear fair. Fair is giving everyone the same chance. Fair is not raising those who didn’t put in the effort up on a pedestal to the level of those who gave a damn.
Unlike the two models of equality which I have mentioned. A lot of the time I believe in situations where you have a choice between two views, the truth lies somewhere along the middle path between the two choices. When you have two views of society which are given to you by two special interest groups, each of which represents one half of two possible sides, then each represents a side that the other will find it hard to relate to. In my opinion the Men’s rights movement grew from the extremes that feminism created and exists to present the problems that affect men. I’ve always been honest that I believe that. It’s time for the feminists to come clean and admit that they have a female-centred agenda as well. Instead of the usual B.S. about representing what is best for both of the genders.
Feminism is our ticket to true gender salvation? Salvation for both genders from a movement with a gendered name. Bollocks! Modern feminism, which is far from its more noble roots. Has had a total reign and has been having the say for both sides for far too long now. And the damage should be clear for everyone to see. They have damaged men, women and society. We need the other voice now. We need to hear the other side of the story. This is the main reason why I don’t call myself a feminist. Feminism does not speak for me! Feminism does not speak for me...
I recommend a brilliant essay which I shall link to on the left called “hate bounces: how man hating and man bashing harms women: The making of a misogynist”. The essay details the life story of a man who grew up to hate women due to feminism. It says so much that I want to say and it says it so well that I implore you to simply read it yourself. For now, I will read a part of the essay that applies directly to my life experience:
I remember the first time I saw the slogan "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle", I knew my face had just been spit in. Men were not just useless to women, we were irrelevant. We had no purpose in a woman's life, and did not belong in her world at all. It was a message of hate, dismissal, and refutation. But, I also saw it as a warning of what was to come. It was like seeing clouds on the horizon, and knowing that it is time to get under cover because a storm is brewing.
Now before you start psycho-analyzing, the quote made me angry and hurt my feelings a bit, but it did not have as much of an effect on me as it did on this guy. But when I first heard the famous feminist slogan coming from the mouth of a young woman on my university campus then I realised that part of feminism was hateful to men and it was seeping into the mind of young women and poisoning their view of men then I realised that I could never call myself a feminist. After realising this, I pondered the strange creature called the male feminist. How could one embrace an ideology that was so hostile to them?
Needless to say, the quote doesn’t even make sense. I have never met a woman who does not consider a relationship to be an very important part of her life. The reason I never took the quote too seriously is because I saw right through it to what it really was. It was posturing. It was the angry outburst of a foot-stomping child of a movement trying to convince itself that it didn’t need to rely on men, lying to itself to try and deny the truth, that men and women do depend on each other. It spoke to me of an immature movement driven by emotion rather than logic. A movement striving not towards truth, but towards anger, victim-hood and demagoguery.
So. Apart from the spit-in-the-face hostility to men, the one-sided treatment of gender issues and the flawed idea of what equality is. Why else don’t I call myself a feminist?
For the answer to that question, watch my older videos and stay tuned for the new ones because what I offer is the voice from the other side of the aisle. And that is a voice you are not going to hear from a feminist anytime soon.
Posted on: Thursday, May 29, 2008 12:41 AM